My boyfriend is the manager of an adorable little SoHo coffee shop which has outgrown it’s tiny staff and needs someone new. So I helped him write an ad yesterday (he’s new at this manager thing) and we went through the e-mails tonight and … wow.
First off, its amazing what some women think will get them a job (and probably equally amazing that I’m sure it often works). Many of the responses contained a photo but no resume or experience. It’s ok honey, your face is your resume, right? Wrong. These were mostly the “OMG like of course I’m a singer and model and aspiring actress” types with their wannabe quirky yet boring copied and pasted cover letters (and yes one actually said that line above).
There was one chick who looked like Peyton from Rock of Love. There was the girl who capitalized all of the things she thought were cool, such as how she had “worked with RICHARD GERE”, and then there was the girl who capitalized nothing and said “kewl” 30+ times. Then there was the girl who talked about masturbating and then talked about how she might be crazy. Umm, yeah - totally gonna hire you. All of you.
And the guys. Oh sigh. Not much better on that end. One guy thought he should specifically point out that he frequently listens to the music of the bands he knows, like his friends the Moldy Peaches. Yes. He actually said that. In a cover letter. Color me impressed dude, you’re fucking hired.
I know my boyfriend really wants what’s best for the shop, but at the same time he can’t deny that taking out this ad is a little like taking out a personal ad for a friend. This person has to sit behind a tiny little counter with him for 7 hours a day and it would be helpful if they’ve got similar taste in music and things to talk about. I think he really just wants somebody who will ride their fixed gear to work and talk about fancy handlebars and tattoos and The Clash with him then maybe smoke a J after work. Bromance in the big city at it’s finest. We’ll see what actually happens.
